At the Littles’ preschool the parents serve as classroom TAs on a rotating basis.  This co-op system has been great because it has helped me get to know the teachers and kids, and ensured that my pantry is always well stocked with advil and wine (two must-haves in any semi-functioning Mommy establishment, in my opinion).  In late March I assisted in the Little Missy’s classroom and was able to celebrate both Easter and her 1/2 birthday with the class.

And so for this post I’d like to share all I learned about…

“How to Lose Control of a Classroom in 5 Easy Steps”

Step 1: Pique your child’s curiosity by promising that this is sure to be a “BIG day” with possible sightings of Easter Bunnies and Birthday Princesses.  Mention over and over again that you are going to “party hardy” and that she should “GET EXCITED!!!”

(Encouraging your child to count down the days leading up to school drop-off with as much zeal and gusto as she can muster can also really help with this step).

Step 2: Upon arrival, crown your child as “THE BIRTHDAY PRINCESS FOR THE DAY!” and then announce to her (already high-spirited) royal subjects that they too will get to “party hardy” today!!!

Step 3: Make sure the kids have sufficient energy for the DAY FULL OF PARTY-HARDY-NESS by feeding them the biggest, sweetest, most sprinkle- and frosting-covered “birthday donuts” you can find.

Step 4: As the sugar from the donuts hits the kids’ bloodstreams, you’ll notice that the Little Miss Birthday Girl and her pals will begin to skip and hop around the classroom in a somewhat frantic fashion.  Right in that moment, lead the kids outside holding some brightly decorated bags and tell them…

“The Easter Bunny came!  SO GET GOIN’!  GO FIND SOME EASTER EGGS!!!”

Step 5: And then as the double cocktail of donuts and Easter candy floods their systems, causing the kids to lose all ability to listen, follow instruction, or even see straight, set the pack of euphoric rugrats loose in the playground and encourage them to “play nicely.”

With your work complete, you can then sit back, relax, and let the pandemonium ensue.

(With your advil and wine at home and at the ready.)

But with an smile like this, you’ll be so glad you did.